BIG wedding short marriage say the old wives.
And it looks as though they’ve been right all along. New research has just shown that yes, the flashier the wedding, the less likely it is the marriage is going to last.
Since 2000 one in ten weddings that cost more that £20,000 lasted less than three years. Russell Brand and Katy Perry – parade of elephants and camels and a gift of a Bengal tiger for the bride – lasted about a year.
So hooray for small weddings.
That was one of the minor benefits of Covid. Even without the camels and elephants, all those huge weddings with 100 guests, day do, evening do, three dresses, vintage buses, owls as ring bearers, favours, sweetie stalls, bands, disco and a string quartet and all that couldn’t happen. Instead couples who went ahead with the weddings were forced into a small ceremony, close family and friends and hardly any fuss at all.
Ang guess what – they are just as much married as if they’d spent the price of a small house.
1950s weddings were generally small family events. Mad grannies, drunken uncles and only a few closest friends.
For a start in the 1950s bride and groom were much younger. All the way through the 1950s the average age of the groom was 22 and the bride 20. Most – apart from the lads who’d done national service – would still be living at home. Marriage was the only way they were getting to get away and get a life of their own – especially a comfortable sex life – and the emphasis was very much on couples setting up home together for the first time.
Overwhelmingly people got married in church, the reception was held close by and because most people didn’t have cars, they walked between the two. Church hall, village hall. Families often did the catering themselves. Dresses were made by the local seamstress and most men just got a new suit which would last for the next twenty years or so.
After the meal, the toasts, the speeches, and the best man reading out the cards and telegrams, guests would mingle a while then bride and groom would change into their going away outfits. Then they would go away.
And that was it.
A pleasant occasion but the wedding was just a means to an end – for the marriage and the new life.
Now most couples have been living together for years and have all the toasters and coffee makers they need, they are pressurised into spending even more time and effort into making the day stand out. But they’ve missed the point. The day itself was never that important – it was only special because of because of what it represented.
Small weddings are special – less stress, less hassle, less money – a chance for people actually to meet and talk to each other. Usually a good thing…
If you want a big hooly for all your friends then have one later. Without the word “wedding” in the planning, the bill will be half the price
Keep it simple. It’s just one day. Then there’s the rest of your lives….
Listen to: Love and Marriage by Frank Sinatra
The Canny Time Traveller 